Bollywood

  Undoubtedly the funniest bit of news recently was that Shah Rukh Live while ye may, Yet happy pair.
Khan will be endorsing fairness cream for men. Looks like stars will sell anything if the price is If you want to be somebody, somebody really special, be yourself.
right, so just for the heck of it, we suggest some products that the rest of our Bollywood brigade YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
could endorse. Vivek Oberoi: A newly formulated lotion that thickens the skin, so all references to It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.
‘exes’ would have no effect. Sunny Deol: A special health supplement, whoever takes it will get a It is impossible to design a system so perfect that no one needs to be good.
dhai kilo ka haath. (Obviously to be kept away from the reach of children and women!) Kareena Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.
Kapoor: Since all the dusky beauties are racing ahead of her, maybe she could advertise a cream Very learned women are to be found, in the same manner as female warriors; but they are seldom or never inventors.
that naturally and gradually bronzes the skin. (Bhala uski twacha meri twacha se sanwli kaise?) You know who critics are?—the men who have failed in literature and art.
Aamir Khan: Lagaan chhaap cricket bat that would enable the player to play “righteous” cricket for Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.
at least six years. Bipasha Basu: A magic magnet to attract discarded boyfriends whenever arm And sweeten’d every musk-rose of the dale.
candy is needed. John Abraham: Chappals — the kind celebs can wear on various red carpets with Do we indeed desire the dead Should still be near us at our side ? Is there no baseness we would hide ? No inner vileness that we dread ? How many a father have I seen A sober man, among his boys Whose youth was full of foolish noise.
pride. Saif Ali Khan: A Nawabi cologne— so no matter what the wearer does, he comes out smelling It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.
of roses. Rakhi Sawant: A megaphone (bhonpu) that constantly sings the praises of the user. Alone!—that worn-out word, So idly spoken, and so coldly heard; Yet all that poets sing and grief hath known Of hopes laid waste, knells in that word ALONE!
Mallika Sherawat: Designer burqas that conceal the face and reveal the cleavage. Rani Mukerji: The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
A bug repellent that will drive the media away, when a star wishes to go off press. Rajnikant: Most men in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had passed. Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge. One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners.
Agarbattis to use for worshipping film stars. Akshay Kumar: A beard dye – fans fainted of shock No great improvements in the lot of mankind are possible, until a great change takes place in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.
when he appeared in public with a salt-and-pepper beard. Shabana Azmi: A pulpit, from where a pet Take pride in how far you have come, have faith in how far you can go.
cause can be preached. (Preity Zinta would be the first buyer.) Salman Khan: A magnetic device People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
that deflects potential brides—who wouldn’t want to know the secret to eternal bachelorhood? A slight touch of friendly malice and amusement towards those we love keeps our affections for them from turning flat.
Abhishek Bachchan & Aishwarya Rai: Definitely an adhesive—that will keep the bond between a Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
married couple stuck forever. (Abhiash ka jod hai tootega nahin) Amitabh Bachchan: A health tonic Nothing which is morally wrong can ever be politically right.
for energy at 64 (oh, he already does that ad?) Then maybe a digestive for the older man (he does Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. All things are bound together. All things connect.
that too?) How about an expensive pen to sign autographs? (he does that too??). Well then something REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
to keep the hair black at this age? (he does that too???) He’s done suitings, solitaires, colas, Ideas are invented only as correctives to the past. Through repeated rectifications of this kind one may hope to disengage an idea that is valid.
chocolates, watches, gizmos too? How about tractors for the increasing breed of star farmers? All stealing is comparative. If you come to absolutes, pray who does not steal?
Perfect!  

Original post by kapil